the Rejection sucks, but the Redirection is worth it

how I cope with rejection, story time!

I had every intention of coming to you all serene and calm this morning - I woke up (on a public holiday) at 6.05am, finished my Glimmers post for Instagram and came downstairs to do some research for an upcoming trip.

The time before the rest of my house wakes up is my favourite, so serene ✨

As I sat with my rooibos tea I tuned into the sounds around me, the odd bird, our dog snoring, the fridge humming and a glug-glitch-glug sound from the coffee machine. Something sounded off. I walked over to the machine and yup she was having a meltdown. Coffee spilling all over the kitchen counter pre 7.30am. Universe, this ISN’T how I envisioned today kicking off!

I was really inspired by an instagram post by Dan Levy talking about the behind the scenes of being creative, this down time and also the moments behind all the sucess stories. We’re always told about the final big projects. The BIG WINS. The launches. The debuts. But what about the things that don’t work out? What about the efforts that don’t go the way we thought they would?

Yesterday a TV show aired here in the UK that I had been cast for. Multiple casting calls, briefings, a role assigned. Two weeks ago, 5 days before I was due to film, I was dropped from the show. No real explanation, just a generic line ‘the show has taken a different direction’. While initially it was a kick in the face, unfortunately I have been through this process multiple times with the TV industry. Picking up, dropping off. It’s what TV is like. I know this for sure as an ex of mine works within the TV space and I have previously worked in the TV world as part of the make up teams.

This TV show in particular has picked up momentum on social media and ofcourse I’ve seen it promoted on my scroll. There’s a sting… ofcourse there’s a sting!

However rejection in any form is redirection.

Two years I had something worse happen to me. I was cast for TV again, this time to host a wedding make over show focussed on bridal transformation. I was cast as the lead presenter and the show was set to air on a mainstream network in the UK. I was SO excited. I had to buy a new suit, book a hotel, and yes I got my hopes up! We were set to film on the Monday and the Friday before I was dropped from the show because the network decided it could be a reality style show without a presenter. I was absolutely gutted! I didn’t get out of bed all weekend, I cried a lot, it knocked my self esteem and on Monday I had to carry on as normal and do my day job. It fucking sucked!

BUT, it made me stronger. When it happened the second time round I’d learnt my lesson. I booked my hotel on refundable rate, I didn’t buy anything new, I didn’t tell my peers the show was happening. The blow second time round sucked less.

I told myself, this isn’t meant for me. I am meant for greater things. There is a reason this has happened. On the days I was supposed to be filming, rather than wallow, something else more important popped up in my diary. I used the time to progress in other areas of my life. To crack on with writing, creating, and rolling with my own energy.

I experience rejection all the time! I must have had 20 no’s before I finally got a yes on my book deal. I met so many men who rejected me time and time again, knocking my confidence but ultimately it lead me to my now husband. We’re into year 5 of our fertility journey and it’s been a lot of no’s. Every month a let down of sorts, but we keep going. If life didn’t come peppered with rejection it wouldn’t be a journey.

Acceptance is a tool rather than a defeatist choice.

Maybe you’re going through rejection right now, or you know someone who’s experiencing it? While rejection might suck, burn or puncture the heart - know that if you’ve been burnt before, the second burn wont hurt as much. You’ve walked over the hot coals before babes, you can do it again! It wasn’t meant for you for this time.

What I’ve learned through life is that you can’t always be everyone’s cup of tea. Focussing on your own inner energy is more important than trying to please others. If something doesn’t come into fruition, that’s ok. In fact, you processing and being ok with something not working out is growth. Deep routed, inner growth.

It wasn’t meant to be, and something greater will come in it’s place. Believe in yourself!

Thoughts, feelings, emotions in the comments team!

Love Always XX Jules

omgoodness you’ve made it all the way down here! What a result! I guess this is like a hidden track on a CD circa 2004. I wanted to saw how much I’m loving Substack, I feel like I’m really tuning into my authentic self. Sometimes over on Insta it can feel like a pressure to deliver captivating content under 1 minute, or that I have people ‘watching me’. TikTok is like being in a party I gatecrashed and that I cant find the bar or worse, they’re out of drinks. Over here, I know that you genuinely care and are interested in what I have to say, so thank you. I genuinely appreciate you! XXXX